domingo, 14 de abril de 2013

Nonsense of the month

Once someone told me I had no friends.

At the time, I laughed.

Then I stopped.

Later, I cried.

I don't really know if things are supposed to be always like this, but unfortunately we all tend to find out that our feelings and emotions are never understood and comprehended in the way we expect them to be.

It's like the girl who loves the boy and doesn't get back from him what she wants to. Not because she is not good enough or because he is too bad, but simply because they don't see things the same way. Maybe they are not meant to be together, at least not for now.

It's like the boy who thinks he doesn't want to get involved with anyone, but then, when he has pushed everyone alway, he realizes how lonely and sorry he feels, but then it's just too late. It's not that he is a fool, he just wants to find himself somewhere else, but maybe he is doing it the wrong way. But who could tell him that? Cause he has no friends at all, does he?

Going back to my friend, I realized I can't expect anything other than hope.

Sometimes life goes in a different direction from what we expect. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you try to do the best, but any choice you make can't really help? You still are gonna hurt people you don't want to.

Sometimes I wake up and I want to talk to someone, I feel like I'm completely alone, lost and left behind. The problem is, I am the one who left myself behind. It's one of those moments when you want to call someone but at the same time you don't wanna disturb your friends (do you have any?) and you don't dare to dial a number.

And then you hate yourself, and then you hate your cellphone because it can't help and that's what it's supposed to do. And then you feel at the bottom of the bottom of the bottom. But you are by yourself. As always, you keep going, on and on. Always alone, feeling the pain inside and smiling outside.

Sometimes I just want someone I can count on and just talk about the nonsense of my cellphone being my worst enemy, and then I come here, and I write.

I guess that when we don't know who we want to be, we become no one. And that's still better than being someone we aren't, isn't it?

Niestzche used to say we have to become ourselves. At first I would think he was saying something easy to do and that I had already got there, but now I see. It's not easy and not even possible, maybe, because in order to find yourself you always seem to get more and more lost.

Well, talking again about that friend of mine, I guess he was wrong. I have a few friends, starting with him. When someone talks to me, I listen, and when I talk to someone, I mean what I say.

If I am to have nothing else in my life, I will still have at least the truth.

And here am I, maybe no one can listen to me and my cellphone can't once more save me from this need to talk to someone, but I don't mind, cause I believe there must be someone out there.

And right now I just wanna write about "caipirinhas" and cellphones.

Um comentário:

  1. Dammit luiz you made finally left someone depressed with your 'friendly' talk. Don't mind him Rafael no one really listens to what he says.

    from: Another Imaginary Friend 0_o